When your child hurts


Today I was faced with the first of many heartbreaks that will roll through my children’s life. Sparing details, my oldest lost her best friend without reason. Neither child wanted the friendship to end. It was me and the other parent that called it quits. It’s a decision I’m perfectly fine with but seeing the pain and hurt in my daughter’s face is killing me.

At 8 years old, I know this pain is small and won’t last long but it’s pain all the same. All the explaining of how I’m looking out for her and her siblings, keeping them safe how I see fit, it means nothing to her. I understand that, I really do. Only being here and ensuring that I’m always going to be here for her is the only comfort she seems to be ok with. The pain she is feeling is mirrored in me. I ache for her. I feel her emptiness. I feel her unanswered questions tumbling around in her head. She doesn’t understand what happened and honestly I don’t either. We are both left with a hole in our hearts. Her for the loss of her longest friend and me for the loss of friendship and the pain I see in her face.

I know this is minor and it’s only the beginning of life for her but I want to be angry. I want to shake the person at the root of this. I want to hurt those (including me) that has caused this pain. I have all these emotions that are good and bad. I just want to make it better. Hurt me, damage me, destroy me if it means my children will never have their heart’s hurt.

Yes I know this isn’t something that is possible but I wish it was. I know it’s a bump in her road and there will be plenty of bumps, curves, detours and wrecks in the road map that’s been given to each of us. How we handle each of these is what makes our character. I just hope that I can mold them enough that when these things happen, they can be the better person and keep moving. Taking with them the memories and throwing out the trash. Remaining good at heart.

My family is my life. I know there is ups and downs. I only hope that they have more ups and can work through the downs. If I could take the pain, I would. Since I can’t, I hope to be able to comfort.

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