If I could write a letter to me

There is a song out that is about writing a letter to himself at 17. I have a close friend that has teenagers and I have a school aged daughter. I see the struggles that they are dealing with. To them they are life changing struggles. What this person said about this other person. How relationships change from day to day, week to week and month to month if they are that lucky. I also see how my friend puts these rules in place that literally causes the teenager to rebel just to prove a point.
I want, so bad, to give these kids a “gibbs” slap up against their head. They think this moment is all there is to live for. That there is no other life outside their school/friend circles. They will have the job of their dreams, car of their dreams, house, friends, money everything they dream of. They don’t think they should have to answer to authority. They treat their parents like stepping stones. They think work is a joke and they deserve lots of money for a job of flipping burgers.
My letter to me at 14 would be about how school was fun and I met some cool people. However, most of those cool people are not in my life now. Those cool people went on to do their own life. Some made something of themselves, many did not. They thought they could have everything in life that you should work hard for but they tried to steal, cheat or lie for. Their “cool” life turned out to burn them in the end.
I would tell me that, yes, my heart would be broken several times but to dust myself off and move on. Not to wallow in pity of my broken heart or expect to try to hold on tighter to the next. Although those people made me who I am today, I wish I had known they weren’t the future for me.
I would have told myself to do better in school. To earn higher grades and acheviments. I am a stay at home mom, but I would feel better to say I had did very well. My child’s 1st grade homework is a beast compared to what I did in 3rd grade. I know if I had did well in school, I would feel better about helping with homework.
I would have told myself to live at home with my parents for a few years after high school. I would have a better understanding for money and respect.
In the end, I would tell me to stop putting myself down because I wasn’t as beautiful as some or as smart. I would tell myself that I’m not perfect and no matter how hard we try, nobody is. I would tell myself that the homecoming king is a drunk and can’t keep a job and the homecoming queen was busted for prostitution. I would ask myself to see today as today. Yesterday was in the past and in my memory to learn from. Tomorrow is another day to make it right, if I couldn’t, then it would be in the past and I can start over.
I sincerely hope I can teach my children these things. I have a feeling that they, too, will have to learn on their own, and I will be right there with them.
So what would your letter say to you?


4 thoughts on “If I could write a letter to me

    • Thank you. I think about what I went thru and how I felt. I don’t want my kids to feel trapped or not appreciate the life they have. (NCIS is one of my most favorite shows. We need more Gibbs around, lol)

  1. Very well said and so very true. If we could only know then what we know now how different life would be for us all. It is funny because my parents tried to tell me the same things I try to tell my oldest daughter who is 19 now. It is very hard as a parent to see your children go through things that you know you can prevent them from having to go through if they would only listen. I know now how my parents felt as I am sure many parents do. I get the same looks that I know I gave my parents, the same attitude and the sad part of it all is that if I would have only listened then things would be much different for me now. That being said, I guess we all have to learn things the hard way because it seems as if that is the path that is the most “popular” to take. I am very happy and things turned out well in the end but I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had only listened! But maybe that is part of what makes us who we are and maybe it is those experiences that we go through that teaches us the most about life. I agree with you about having your heart broken and wishing you had known that that person was not for you, but I have come to think that those experiences give us the knowledge to know when we finally get a good one! With the bad experiences of the past comes a stronger appreciation for your life now, at least that is how it has been for me. I think at times of all I went through and look at my life now and think how did I get to this from that. It’s truly amazing to me at times, but I am happy and I love my husband and my family and our life together and I feel that a great deal of that appreciation and love comes from the bad experiences of the past. Just my way of looking at things! Great blog…excited to read it!

    • Thank you so much. I completely agree that the kids aren’t going to hear one thing. They will have to carve their own path and learn who they are. It took me almost 30 years to realize that it’s my life and others can’t run it for me. I make the decisions and I am responsible for them. Like you, I had to go through a lot of hurts but in the end, I think I turned out ok. Again, thank you for your support

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